Something just a little different. Thoughts and critiques would be highly appreciated!?

Posted by admin on October 29th, 2009 and filed under rope blindfold |

I’m driving home and
Ferlinghetti’s playing on tape and it’s silent out
there’s a pause in the poetry and
I hear this infernal crack
like Satan’s bullwhip
and in the midnight sky
like a strange and divine x-ray
a ghostly colossus bolt of lightning appears
only its not so much a bolt
as a sort of spit (Satan’s spit)

this fire bolt is lying on its side
maybe even like a clothesline
and all the withering heathens
slung over like undergarments
and I look up at it
I don’t say anything
I don’t think anything
I just look

and the first drops drip now like messengers of wartime
and it pours
if only I had the words to convey
it’s as if all the bathwater of Babylon
had been thrown overboard
and I think I’m gonna die

so I roll the windows down
and I bellow
and I think about God
and the rain bellows back
soaking me in judgment
(the road is gone now)

I see lights flicker here and there
red, white
like angels and demons are roaming the land
in conflict or game
but it’s only cars and
they’re moving like vagrants in Paris
and they’re blindfolded

so I pull over
to the side of the non road
and I stop

and I sit back and I think and I stare

and it’s a long time gone and
the rain against the windshield
looks like the colors of the world are melting

and then the rain stops

and the clouds stop and the wind stops

and it all stops

even the mist settles like a fishing net
floating down to the ocean floor

and the world stops

and I look at the sky
and the moon is just sitting there
like an opal on some dark velvet jewelers display
and my eyes start to drift lazy down the stars
like on a rope ladder, down, further down
dot
to
dot
and now on the dashboard
I’m out of gas
and there’s faces in the wind


This is a repost with just some minor touchups. Hope no one minds!
Well actually the touchups are major, but whatever. :)
sounds like a moment enlightening

3 Responses

  1. ❤Bunny ❤Wolffie ❤ Says:

    sounds like a moment enlightening
    References :

  2. Benjamin Says:

    Really good.

    It’s raw, it’s real, it’s intense.

    You have talent.

    It’s nice to see the black sheep amongst the writers.
    References :

  3. mtheoryrules Says:

    liked the original better
    but hey
    sometimes cosmetic surgery
    can keep one feeling young
    References :

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