I was in a "relationship" for two months this Fall and while my friends and family (even therapist) knew I was "seeing someone" who I started referring to as my boyfriend the last few weeks, they didn’t know I had met him on Craigslist in the section looking for long-term. I was the "perfect child" as my mom sad, but very conservative, reserved and shy. So life took some turns and I’d decided to experiment with submission (BDSM) while still holding up my facade. (The next part is where I know I made some terribly risky decisions/mistakes). I started talking to a Dom whose ad I responded to and after three weeks or so of daily emails and even more phone calls, he sent me a gift to where when we first met. A blindfold. We planned a night and I unlocked my door for a man I’d never met and waited blindfolded in my bedroom. All and all it was an experience I’d never imagined and we were both interested in pursuing whatever it was we were in. We talked on the the phone 2-3 times a day after that and after spending the last few years in a severe depression I never imagined I’d ever find someone that would have me smiling when I saw his name with my phone ringing. We met again at my apartment… same thing with the blindfold. He’d seen pictures of me and was supposed to send me one of him but every time it never panned out. The excitement of the mystery set in (with his push). He stopped calling one day and wouldn’t answer his phone. I was very concerned and expressed that via voice mail and an email on the fourth day. He answered his phone that afternoon and told me how his brother had died in a hit-and-run. He took time and went to Las Vegas by himself to get away from everything shortly after that. We didn’t talk that long weekend. When he came back, we planned for him to come over again. I was talking to him as he was leaving his office to come to my place and then he never showed. I waited, I called. Not a word from him until 3 days later when he left me a message that he was in an accident on his way and had been in the hospital since (car totaled). I believed him while everyone around me (based on the skewed details I’d told them) said he was making it all up. He was probably married. Two weeks later he planned to come over again. I spoke with him several times that day and he’d even left me a message the night before that he was thinking about me. We’d been talking as he got hung up at the office and when he was just going to change and head right over. He never showed. Never answered his phone or returned voice mail. In fact he disabled his voice mail. I’ve never heard from him since… nothing. Two months of talking daily and trusting him enough to leave my door unlocked for a complete "stranger." I’ve never seen what he looks like. There was not a hint in the times we did talk (that he wasn’t disappearing) to suggest he wasn’t as completely invested and content as I was.
So… odd and obviously dangerous circumstances I put myself in (yes, there are plenty of reasons that that I’m dealing with). At first I was worried, than upset, and mystified since then. I got tested for STD’s this weekend, figuring he may have been infected and intentionally or not passed it on and left. I was negative all the way around and now I’m wondering why or how someone could do this? Did his brother really die and he couldn’t be the Dom afterward…rather than admitting that he left? (There is no evidence of him or his brother’s existence or accidents on google). Is this a game he plays where he thinks he can disappear and think that I will be sobbing or whatever over him for months as another form of dominance? Or should I be worried? I could care less about him in any loving or friendly way, but I’m concerned. He knows where I live, what kind of car I drive, where I work and anything else he could have picked up from his time here while I was blindfolded (though there was very little time he wasn’t in my bedroom with me). Should I be worried? What is your take on this? WHY did he disappear like that? Could he be a threat?
I’m happy he’s gone, and I’ve resolved some of the issues that was fueling a period of self-destructive behavior. I’ve since decided submissive wasn’t me… though the actual exploration of that is of no regret.
Any comments, advice, opinion or answers are VERY WELCOME! please help!
Oh, I should add… I did call several weeks later and his voicemail was back up but he doesn’t say his name now. He’s 40, I’m 24. Up until this point I was very inexperienced and hadn’t had a boyfriend in 6 years. I don’t know if it’s important, but the D/s sessions it were very very intense. I didn’t expect it to hurt that much, but it was entirely consensual.
Hey. What a story. I don’t have too much good news to pass on. I really think he took advantage of you, and clearly he has done a bunch of things to hide his identity from you. I could suspect that he is likely married or something along those lines. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a lot you can do in this situation except to learn from it. Mutual investment here is key - it seems like you were way more invested (maybe not emotionally but physically - name, home location, etc. So, good luck - use this to learn from, and I hope you find a better partner, even Dom, in the future. For what it’s worth, I come from a straight laced, "perfect child" home, too, and I find myself desiring submissiveness, too, and yet don’t feel like I can share that with many.
Just wondering what are some good, basic things to have in a S&M dungeon or role playing type supplies. There are the basic collar, cuffs, floggers, whips, blindfold, etc, but there’s so much out there. What are some basic things everyone in the scene should have?
Thank you for your answers!
-Alika613
Look, it might be a little too late to worn the innocent or unknowing people about the content and whatnot of this question, but yes I’m serious.
There is in fact, a whole world out there that practices these to some degree. That school girl fantasy? Popular in this type of play, etc.
Oh, and if anybody knows of a better place for this question, let me know. There isn’t exactly a "Deviant" section in y!answers, LOL.
-Alika613
My basics include:
-Various lengths of rope (see rainbowrope.com)
-A number of different floggers varying in material, length, # of tails, (leathercellar.com, extremerestraints.com, stockroom.com, aswgt.com)
-A number of different canes and paddles, again see above for links.
-A few sets of metal cuffs, some with some without the emergency release (any sex shop)
-A few sets of leather cuffs, and 1 collar per sub/slave (any good leather shop)
-Various sets of different sized, and pressurized nipple clamps (see above for links)
-Various butt plugs
-Strapon butterfly wireless remote control vibrator
-Fukuoku finger vibrator
-Blind fold
-Lube- my girls and I prefer Wet platinum or Wet glycerin free.
-Under/over the door restraints
There are however a number of things I’d like to get:
-A good set of thigh cuffs
-St. Andrew’s Cross
-Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator
-Sex swing
-Thigh Cuffs
As for where to put this question, there is no perfect section so this works just fine, if you have any other questions feel free to ask or send me a message through my profile.
As my name suggests, Im 21, into bdsm, and 1950’s lifestyle. I dont want to wear a collar, but I do like to be spanked and punished, tied down, gagged, cook, clean, be a maid [in uniform or not], wear dresses and heels, even the half white apron. I love blindfold, suspension, even the idea of a dungeon in my basement. Im in college, and do want to get my degree, but I could care less if I use it. I want to meet someone my age who I am very attracted to, but I cant seem to bring myself to meet anyone I talk to online in person. I have been talking to this guy, who I met in person first about all this, and he doesnt seem turned off about it, but all in the same I dont want word to get around as to my likings, b.c I dont want to be judged since this isnt a common thing. Help me. Im sick of wearing my dresses for no one, and tying and gagging myself to my own bed. I want someone else to do it.
That is a lot of stuff that interest you and it will be hard to find someone who is into all of them but if you find a guy that’s into some of them, then I bet he will do the rest. There are guys like us out there but there are also a lot of posers. Just try personals and chat with them online. Eventually you’ll find someone you’re comfortable enough to meet. Don’t give up.
I would like to explore parts of the BDSM lifestyle in a healthy way. I already know that I am not into total submission, domination or punishment. I am interested in the sadomasochistic(mostly the masochism) parts and light bondage. I already know that I do enjoy biting, spanking(I also think I would like whipping), scratching and being held by my wrists or ankles. My husband is accommodating on most things but I would like to get a little deeper. Blindfolds, being tied up, sensory deprivation(excepting asphyxia). How should I approach the subject with my husband in a way that he will comfortable with at least trying to accommodate me? Should I/he talk to someone about how to do it safely? I want it to pleasurable for both of us. I know he’s not wanting any of this for himself. I just feel like I am missing some part of my sexuality.
Just build on it slowly. Show him that its just the next step in your playtime and he will come to embrace it. Grow together as a couple.
We are not having sex yet (I wanted to wait) and we are just starting to do oral, but we’ve been doing everything else except actual intercourse.
For my 21st birthday we are going to vegas, and while we are staying at the hotel I want to do something to really rock his world, and I would love some ideas. We are not really into bdsm,(although he like the idea of mild things like blindfolds and handcuffs.)
What are some good products or games that I should try?
I know oral sex is technically ’sex’, but I am ok with it, because I don’t think it is quite as intimate. We have talked about marrage, but that simply will not happen untill we are able to move out of our parents homes (we are saving up)
Cuff and blindfold him before performing oral. Or cuff him, do a strip tease, then blindfold him and give him oral
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I have a question that’s been pressing me for a while now. For those of you who know or read fiction, I find that I prefer a certain type. Things like domination/submission, master/slave, abuse, tying up and blindfolding, controlling personalities interest me. Often I find myself fantasizing about these things as well. In some of these fantasies of mine, well most of them, I find whoever the other person is has complete control of me. For some reason I find hitting (slapping) a complete turn on, along with hair pulling, biting, scratching, the works. Not to mention, the sex is most often if not rough.
It makes me wonder if in fact there is something wrong about this. I’m not into piercing, body modification or anything. Cocky, controlling, or "bad", people I tend to lean towards.
—>Another Perspective
Awesome. I find those things hot too… I’m partially black, but you can pull my hair all day as long as it’s in the right situation. Otherwise I get pissed off, especially if I just did it or something. I think that’s almost any girl.
Welcome to the club of kinky people!
No, you’re not alone. There are a lot of people who are into this. Start by doing a bit of research on the web, Wikipedia for instance.
To find like minded partners, again the Internet is your friend.
How do you broach the topic with your partner? Say, you’ve been together for a while, and you are just now comfortable experimenting in the bedroom. I am not into the hardcore stuff, but a little light bondage (blindfolds, silk scarves, etc.) and a little (non-intensive) discipline is HOT to me.
How do I bring this up? I am comfortable talking about it with him, I just don’t know when is an appropriate time to have that conversation. Or how to have that conversation.
Start bringing it into your sessions going forward. First - in the heat of battle ask him to do something you would like. Start wearing some of the costumes you like to bed. Work the kinky stuff into the mix bits at a time and reinforce his positive responses by letting him know how much it turns you on. He should be well trained in no time.
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